In his book The Emotionally Healthy Church, author Peter Scazzero lays out two types of churches. See which one best describes yours:
Proud and Defensive:
1. I am guarded and protective about my imperfections and flaws.
2. I focus on the “positive,” strong, successful parts of myself.
3. I am highly “offendable” and defensive.
4. I naturally focus first on the flaws, mistakes, and sins of others.
5. I give my opinion a lot, even when I’m not asked.
6. I don’t get close to people.
7. I keep people from really seeing what is going on inside of me.
8. I like to control most situations.
9. I have to be right in order to feel strong and good.
10. I blame others.
11. I often hold grudges and rarely ask forgiveness.
12. When I’m offended, I write people off.
13. I am demanding.
14. I am highly self-conscious and concerned about how others perceive me.
15. I see people as resources to be used for God.
Broken and Vulnerable
1. I am transparent and weak. I disclose myself appropriately to others.
2. I freely admit failure.
3. I am approachable and open to input.
4. I am aware of my own brokenness and am slow to judge others.
5. I am slow to speak and quick to listen.
6. I delight in showing vulnerability and weakness, that Christ’s power may be seen.
7. I can let go and give people opportunity to earn my trust.
8. I understand that God’s strength reveals itself in admitting mistakes, weakness, and statements that “I was wrong.”
9. I take responsibility for myself and speak mostly in the “I,” not the “you” or “they.”
10. I don’t hold people in debt to me, and am able to ask others for forgiveness as needed.
11. When I’m offended, I ask questions to explore what happened.
12. I can let things go.
13. I assert myself respectfully and kindly.
14. I am more aware of God and others than the impression I’m making.
15. I see people as gifts to be loved and enjoyed.